Auction envy

I want to sell my wines - or more accurately, Arnaud's. Not all of them. Just a few. Just the Bordeaux ones.

When you tool around a little bit in the wine world, you get bottle envy. Your grasping nature comes to the fore. Something must be done! These immense marvels must be attained!

As a parallel, you discover what it is about certain types of wine that fails to appeal to you. I, it turns out, am not a Bordeaux lover. I love Burgundy, especially earthy, complex, delicious grand cru Burgundy.

Yet I peer past the musty wood door into our cellar, after removing the padlock, and I see very few Burgundies, and the ones that are there are premier cru and village appellations.

Oh, but to me, they are so rare that I hesitate to bring them out! (Though we did drink a tasty 1997 Chassagne-Montrachet 1er cru "Morgeot" on Saturday with our friend Philippe.)

So I eye with suspicion and cruel appraisal the three or four expensive bottles of Bordeaux belonging to monsieur that are there on the rack quietly gathering dust. Think of the bottles I could buy if those would just transform themselves into legal tender, or trade!

Alas, I close back up the cellar and trudge up to ground level. People in the real world have a hell of a hard time making good on a few odd bottles...

(Editor's note: If anyone wants to help me in my alchemical initiative, we might be able to transform Lynch-Bages or Beychevelles into Chambolle-Musignys or Puligny-Montrachets. Write me here.)